In support of our Space program, I could give a lengthy list of all the things, products, and technologies that come directly as a benefit from Space research.*  (For a full description. please go here:  http://www.thespaceplace.com/nasa/spinoffs.html) However, aside from all of these wonderful gizmo’s, there is one real answer:

Our survival as a species depends on it.

On Monday afternoon, an asteroid (named 2009 DD45) passed dangerously close to the earth.  At 40,000 miles out, it passed at less than twice the distance of most of our satellites in geosynchronous orbit, which is approx. 26,200 miles above the Earth.  It was estimated to be the same size as the asteroid that exploded over Siberia in 1908 and leveled more than 800 square miles of forest. Had 2009 DD45 slammed down onto the Earth, it would have exploded with the force of a large nuclear blast somewhere in the Pacific Ocean west of Tahiti.

Most surprising of all is that we only had 2 days notice… 2009 DD45 was spotted last Saturday by astronomers in Australia, and verified by the International Astronomical Union’s Minor Planet Centre (MPC), which catalogues solar system rocks. Not to add any alarm, but 2009 DD45 will get another chance at hitting us… Astronomers said the asteroid is likely to return for another series of near misses since it’s drawn in by our planet’s gravity.

This ‘Near-Miss’ is by no means an isolated occurrence.  Peter Brown, an astronomer at the University of Western Ontario in Canada, said the last rock “as large or larger than this to come this close was in 1973 and the next time will be in 2029 when Apophis makes its close approach.”

Apophis initially caused some concern among scientists when its plotted course revealed it to be on a collision trajectory with Earth, but further investigations have since shown it will pass harmlessly by. You can find the wiki here.

Two days’ notice… that’s all. I don’t expect vacations on Mars, but I personally would like a little more notice before our world (or at least a sizable portion of it) is wiped out.

In A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking gives his reasoning for believing that advanced civilizations could only exist on the fringes of any galaxy. To paraphrase, trying to establish civilization in a more densely populated region of space would be nearly impossible, since those planets would be much more susceptible to being routinely extinguished due to galactic activity, such as radiation from supernovas. I believe that space debris i.e., asteroids,  would fall into that same category. We already know what happens when our planet is hit by a large object… it’s happened before.  Also, the effect of gravity is always attractive, so I believe that, as these asteroids pass by, they will inevitably get drawn closer, as there’s no force to push them further out away from Earth, and into Space.

Does this sound like a worth while application of our tax dollars? I believe that it is.

Most impacts are in rural, uninhabited areas. As our population grows, the chances if an asteroid hit in a large populated area increase.

For details on the Siberia 1908 incident, here’s a great reconstruction from eyewitness accounts. Remember, this exploded in the atmosphere… it didn’t even ‘hit’ the ground…

____

* btw, here’s a ‘short’ list of those ‘benefits’ that came directly from the space program: Advanced keyboards, Customer Service Software, Database Management System, Laser Surveying, Aircraft controls, Lightweight Compact Disc, Expert System Software, Microcomputers, Design Graphics, the Dustbuster, shock-absorbing helmets, home security systems, smoke detectors, flat panel televisions, high-density batteries, trash compactors, food packaging and freeze-dried technology, cool sportswear, sports bras, hair styling appliances,fogless ski goggles, self-adjusting sunglasses, composite golf clubs, hang gliders, art preservation, quartz crystal timing equipment, whale identification methods, environmental analysis, noise abatement, pollution measuring devices, pollution control devices, smokestack monitors, radioactive leak detectors, earthquake prediction systems, sewage treatment, energy saving air conditioning, air purification equipment, Arteriosclerosis detection, ultrasound scanners, automatic insulin pumps, portable x-ray devices, invisible braces, dental arch wire, palate surgery technology, clean room apparel, implantable heart aid, MRI, bone analyzers, cataract surgery tools, gasoline vapor recovery, self-locking fasteners, machine tool software, laser wire strippers, lubricant coating process, wireless communications, engine coatings, improved engine designs, storm warning services (Doppler radar), firefighters’ radios, lead poison detection, fire detectors, flame detectors, corrosion protection coatings, protective clothing, robotic hands, safer bridges, emission testing, airline wheelchairs, electric cars, auto design, methane-powered vehicles,windshear prediction, and aircraft design analysis, to name a few. I think the prospect of improving on those ideas and technologies is worth funding, don’t you?

However, if you are determined to lead a life of depravity and sickness, shunned and hated by society, at least try to have some professional pride. I suggest the following guidelines:

1. When soliciting under-age girls for sex on the internet… DON’T!

2. If you can’t follow rule #1, try this: When soliciting under-age girls for sex on the internet, make sure that it’s not a sting operation set up by your Local, State, or Federal Attorney General. And finally;

3. When you get busted for not following the above rules, do not, under any circumstances, get arrested wearing a T-shirt that says “World’s Greatest Dad”. You will be the laughing stock of the Internet.

Daniel Allen Everett

Meet Daniel Allen Everett. Or better yet, don’t. Here’s the deets from the Detroit Free Press

Internet sting nets ‘World’s Greatest Dad’

By Dawson Bell • Free Press Staff Writer • July 15, 2008

A 33-year-old Clarkston, Michigan, man was arrested today for allegedly soliciting sex from an online contact he believed was a 14-year-old girl.

The accused, Daniel Allen Everett, was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the inscription “World’s Greatest Dad” when arrested.

Attorney General Mike Cox, whose office conducted the investigation, called it “a sad reminder that Internet predators come from all walks of life.” It was not clear whether Everett is, in fact, a parent. But Cox said he wanted to circulate the booking photograph so that other potential victims could be identified.

Everett is the 198th person arrested in the attorney general’s Internet sting program since 2003.

Link to the story: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080715/NEWS03/80715096

And Mr Everett… Please say “Hi” to Bubba for us. I hope you scream like a little girl.

I remember watching ‘Saturday Night Live’ as a teenager when most of the episodes were new. One of my favorite bits was ‘The Mr. Bill Show”. Cracked me up every time. Since my name is Bill, I’ve walked into a room or situation thousands of times, only to be greeted with ‘Oh, No, Mr. Bill!!!!’.

I love that. I absolutely love that.

It’s a lot better that the things that you normally hear when your name is Bill (or even worse, when I was younger, it was always ‘Billy”). ‘Which way you going, Billy’, ‘Billy, Don’t be a Hero’, and no, I can’t bake a cherry pie, Billy Boy, Billy Boy. Getting asked where the other the Billy Goats were at. There were many, many songs and nursery rhymes where being Bill or Billy wasn’t very cool.

Then along came Mr. Bill. Suddenly, and for maybe the first time in my life, it was cool to be a Bill. Or, make that, Mr. Bill. Sweetness.

Read today in the New Your Times Online that my friend Mr. Bill is making a comeback. Here’s the link, and here’s the article:

Mr. Bill Returns (in One Piece) to Pitch a Debit Card

MasterCard executives have found a new poster boy for the angst-ridden economy: Mr. Bill.

The small clay figure that appeared in “Saturday Night Live” short films three decades ago — being dismembered, pulverized and humiliated to his falsetto cries of “Oh, nooooo!” — will be the latest star of MasterCard’s “Priceless” campaign.

He is being revived as a debit-card holder who gets roughed up but keeps on going. The 30-second spot, to start airing next Monday, casts Mr. Bill as an urban professional on his daily routine:

Mr. Hands pours hot coffee on him (“coffee: $2”), a personal trainer launches him off a treadmill (“gym: $59/mo.”), and an opened briefcase flips him onto the windshield of a city bus (“briefcase: $120”).

Mr. Bill, rolling with endless punches, just enjoys the ride home: “Making it through the day: priceless.” A voice-over adds, “For whatever comes your way, there’s debit MasterCard.”

The spot is meant to tap into the current “unsureness about what’s going to happen next,” said Joyce King Thomas, executive vice president and chief creative officer at McCann-Erickson, part of the Interpublic Group of Companies, which created the “Priceless” campaign for MasterCard in 1997.

“This is the sunny Mr. Bill,” she added. “We wanted to make him a character who can handle things beyond his control and stay optimistic.”

Part of the idea is that baby boomers who made “oh nooooo!” jokes in their college dorms will remember Mr. Bill fondly, and younger people to whom the shorts are ancient history will enjoy seeing him get abused.

“It’s very interesting that 30 years later, you can bring this character back,” said Edward Russell, an assistant professor of advertising at Syracuse’s S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications. “It tells me that they’re really going after 44-plus-year-olds, which would make sense since this is a group with more disposable income.”

Mr. Russell, who remembers watching the “SNL” skits in college, did have one quibble: “It’s hard to say that this is completely true to the real Mr. Bill. In the ad, Mr. Bill always finds something positive. That wasn’t true in the original series — he just got hurt.”

Ms. Thomas of McCann-Erickson said that Mr. Bill tested well with viewers of all ages. People who had never heard of him before “found him to be a charming character,” she said. “He’s a little clay guy who things happen to and he’s just fine.”

Mr. Bill made his debut on “Saturday Night Live” on NBC in 1976 when his creator, Walter Williams, won the show’s home video contest using a reel of film that he shot in his living room with a budget of $10. “No one hired me to create Mr. Bill,” said Mr. Williams, now a filmmaker in New Orleans, in a telephone interview.

Mr. Bill appeared on the first five seasons of the show, and Mr. Williams became a staff writer after three years, which is when he started being paid for Mr. Bill for the first time. He owns all the rights to the character, and he directed the MasterCard spot.

“I’ve been doing everything I can to kill him off for 30 years, but he seems to be coming back,” Mr. Williams said.

Since “SNL,” Mr. Bill has appeared in ads for Burger King, Ramada Inn, Pringles and Lexus. Mr. Williams has declined offers to appear in promotions for beer and casinos. “It taints the character,” he said. “I didn’t want Mr. Bill associated with the end of Johnny’s college fund.”

MasterCard is not the only company that sees Mr. Bill as a reflection of the nation’s mood: Subway sandwich shops picked up the character for ads in January.

”I think it’s the times, like how Charlie Chaplin flourished in the Depression,” Mr. Williams said. “People are looking for comedy.”

Dark humor had been out of vogue in the period after 9/11, Mr. Williams said; requests to use Mr. Bill declined. “Having a character stepped on and crumbled was just not funny,” he said. Apparently, it is again.

Mr. Williams, who devotes most of his time to promoting wetlands restoration in New Orleans, said that Mr. Bill’s commercial activity helps underwrite his nonprofit efforts, like public service announcements for hurricane protection. After Katrina, Senator Mary L. Landrieu famously said, “How can it be that Mr. Bill was better informed than Mr. Bush?”

Although MasterCard insisted that it was not using Mr. Bill to market specifically to consumers’ economic plight, the spot does highlight debit cards, which do not permit their owners to spend more money than they have (in theory), rather than credit cards, a riskier tool.

Americans are not backing away from spending and accumulating debt, but “they are being more careful,” said David Wyss, chief economist of Standard and Poor’s. People are “trading down,” he said, compensating for higher food and energy prices by shopping at discount stores like Wal-Mart and Costco.

Tim Murphy, president of the United States region for MasterCard Worldwide, said that more dollars were being spent in “the everyday categories, with gasoline taking up a larger part of consumers’ pocketbooks.”

That trend is not a bad one for MasterCard, which wants consumers to use debit cards to pay for casual purchases, like $2 cups of coffee. “The pitch for debit is that it gives consumers control and versatility,” Mr. Murphy said. “Mr. Bill uses it to buy everyday items and to pay a recurring bill.”

But Ed Mierzwinski, the consumer program director for the United States Public Interest Research Group, said that debit cards were far from a panacea. “If you’re using plastic, you tend to spend more than when using cash,” he said, adding that cardholders can incur heavy fines if they overdraw their accounts.

Mr. Mierzwinski also said that debit transactions — and the right to dispute them — are not legally protected the way credit card transactions are. “Zero liability promises on debit cards are only promises, they’re not the law,” he said.

MasterCard is not the only payment card company that has adjusted its pitch in light of economic conditions. Discover Financial Services recently started advertising its “paydown planner,” an online calculator that shows cardholders how to reduce their balances within a certain time frame or by making specific monthly payments.

However the economy swings, Mr. Bill will probably not be a recurring mascot for MasterCard. “We usually try to do something just once,” Ms. Thomas of McCann-Erickson said.

_________________________________

And what does the BigDog say?

A BIG ‘Paws Up!’ Woof!

There are people in our society who surrender their freedom every single day. The greatest freedom, and the most power, that we have in our lives is the freedom to make decisions, choices for ourselves and our families. I define that as responsibility. Thousands, if not millions, surrender this most basic of freedoms every single day…willingly. No one forces it from them, no visit to GitMo is needed, no government agency is involved; people just gladly roll over and take it.

The most obvious symptom of this is watching people not taking responsibility for their own actions. I think it started with Automobile insurance companies telling us not to admit fault when we we’re involved in an accident (that’s mostly tongue-in-cheek… I actually believe that the problem goes back to the Dawn of Man), but this has permeated into almost all facets of our society, from world Leaders and Corporate exec’s at companies like Enron to the lowest public displays of ignorance and stupidity, shows like Jerry Springer and The Steve Wilkos Show (I include the hosts in that statement).

‘It’s not Me’, ‘It’s not my fault’, ‘It’s society’s problem’. Bullshit. The BigDog knows Bullshit, and I’m calling Bullshit right here and now.

The latest item to make me gag comes courtesy of TechDirt. Here’s the Quick & Dirty: 13 year-old girl on MySpace (yet another low public display of ignorance and stupidity) lies about her age, hooks up with an older guy who sexually assaults her. Girl blames MySpace (instead of herself for putting herself in that position), her mother blames MySpace (instead of herself for not exercising the right of Parental Responsibility, having not monitored her 13 year old’s activities in the first place), and guess what: the guy is blaming MySpace as well (instead of not taking the personal responsibility to not be a jack ass and abusing an obviously under-age girl)! WTF?!?

Here’s the article, courtesy of TechDirt:

MySpace Still Not Liable For Sexual Assault Between Two MySpace Users

from the in-case-you-missed-it-the-first-time dept

Two years ago, we pointed to one of the more ridiculous lawsuits attempting to shift the blame and responsibility for certain actions away from those who were responsible, to those who had the money. A 13-year-old girl went onto MySpace, lied about her age, and struck up a relationship with an older boy. Eventually, the two agreed to meet, and the girl says that the boy sexually assaulted her. So, obviously, the mother of the 13-year-old girl sued MySpace. It seemed like such a good strategy that the boy accused of rape also considered blaming MySpace. Of course, as you should know by now, section 230 of the CDA (and basic common sense) protects websites from the actions of their users. And, in fact, that’s exactly what the judge told the woman and her daughter in tossing out the case.

Rather than understanding the law (and basic responsibility), the mother of course appealed the decision, and even tried to come up with a novel argument for why this wasn’t about section 230 at all, by saying that the company was somehow negligent in “policing its premises.” Luckily (and not surprisingly) the judge isn’t buying it. Eric Goldman lets us know that the appeals court has again sided with MySpace in pointing out that there is no liability for MySpace. They also tried to pull in the recent (somewhat questionable) Roommates.com decision, which was in a different circuit and argued that Roommates.com lost safe harbors because it specifically requested illegal information (which probably wouldn’t even apply in this case). However, since appeals are only on the facts argued in the lower court and this was an entirely new argument, the court refused to consider it.

Either way, this still seems like a case where the girl and her mother are blaming the wrong party in trying to squeeze millions of dollars out of MySpace. The best summation of the situation probably comes from the transcript of the original trial court hearing, which the appeals court quoted:

THE COURT: I want to get this straight. You have a 13-year-old girl who lies, disobeys all of the instructions, later on disobeys the warning not to give personal information, obviously, [and] does not communicate with the parent. More important, the parent does not exercise the parental control over the minor. The minor gets sexually abused, and you want somebody else to pay for it? This is the lawsuit that you filed?

MR. ITKIN [Counsel for the Does]: Yes, your Honor.

WTF is right. There’s only one thing that stinks worse that Bullshit, and that’s Money-grubbing whores who are willing to sell their own freedom for a paycheck. That’s something that the Government could never, ever do to us…
…and some of us choose it willingly…
…every
…single
…day.

Shame.
_________________________
*’We’, in all article, means ‘me’. It’s just me here, folks. Don’t get too excited with your conspiracy theories and stuff like that.

This article from CNN.com, tells the story, with only a moment of silence from your truly…

(CNN) — Author Arthur C. Clarke, whose science fiction and non-fiction works ranged from the script for “2001: A Space Odyssey” to an early proposal for communications satellites, has died at age 90, associates have said.

Clarke had been wheelchair-bound for several years with complications stemming from a youthful bout with polio and had suffered from back trouble recently, said Scott Chase, the secretary of the nonprofit Arthur C. Clarke Foundation.

He died early Wednesday — Tuesday afternoon ET — at a hospital in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where he had lived since the 1950s, Chase said.

“He had been taken to hospital in what we had hoped was one of the slings and arrows of being 90, but in this case it was his final visit,” he said.

In a videotaped 90th birthday message to fans, Clarke said he still hoped to see some sign of intelligent life beyond Earth, more work on alternatives to fossil fuels — and “closer to home,” an end to the 25-year civil war in Sri Lanka between the government and ethnic Tamil separatists.

“I dearly wish to see lasting peace established in Sri Lanka as soon as possible,” he said. “But I’m aware that peace cannot just be wished — it requires a great deal of hard work, courage and persistence.”

Clarke and director Stanley Kubrick shared an Academy Award nomination for best adapted screenplay for “2001.” The film grew out of Clarke’s 1951 short story, “The Sentinel,” about an alien transmitter left on the moon that ceases broadcasting when humans arrive.

As a Royal Air Force officer during World War II, Clarke took part in the early development of radar. In a paper written for the radio journal “Wireless World” in 1945, he suggested that artificial satellites hovering in a fixed spot above Earth could be used to relay telecommunications signals across the globe.

He is widely credited with introducing the idea of the communications satellite, the first of which were launched in the early 1960s. But he never patented the idea, prompting a 1965 essay that he subtitled, “How I Lost a Billion Dollars in My Spare Time.”

His best-known works, such as “2001″ or the 1953 novel “Childhood’s End,” combined the hard science he learned studying physics and mathematics with insights into how future discoveries would change humanity.

David Eicher, editor of Astronomy magazine, told CNN that Clarke’s writings were influential in shaping public interest in space exploration during the 1950s and ’60s.

Watch how Clarke stands among sci-fi giants »

“He was very interested in technology and also in humanity’s history and what lay out in the cosmos,” Eicher said. His works combined those “big-picture” themes with “compelling stories that were more interesting and more complex than other science fiction writers were doing,” he said.

Tedson Meyers, the chairman of the Clarke Foundation, said the organization is now dedicated to reproducing the combination of imagination and knowledge that he credited the author with inspiring.

“The question for us is, how does human imagination bring about such talent on both sides of the brain?” he asked. “How do you find the next Arthur Clarke?”

Clarke was knighted in 1998. He wrote dozens of novels and collections of short stories and more than 30 nonfiction works during his career, and served as a television commentator during several of the Apollo moon missions.

Though humans have not returned to the moon since 1972, Clarke said he was confident that a “Golden Age” of space travel was just beginning.

Watch Clarke talk about sci-fi vs. reality »

“After half a century of government-sponsored efforts, we are now witnessing the emergence of commercial space flight,” he said in his December birthday message.

“Over the next 50 years, thousands of people will travel to Earth orbit — and then, to the moon and beyond. Space travel and space tourism will one day become almost as commonplace as flying to exotic destinations on our own planet.”

E-mail to a friend

This article from Fortune Magazine comes to us via the good folks over at Yahoo ( I still remember when they were just little ‘ol yahoo.berkeley.edu, but that’s another story) recaps the 101 dumbest Business moments in 2007. We’ll give you the top 50, you’ll have to go to Fortune Magazine’s 101 Dumbest Moments in Business for the rest…

The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007provided by

Ah, what a dumb year it was! And that’s the positive spin on it. Consider the alternative. Like, if selling poisonous toothpaste to children isn’t dumb, what is it? If the constant slide and imminent collapse of air travel isn’t dumb, what then? If all the hyperintellectuals who created the subprime mess aren’t functional dummies, what might they be, huh? No, we’ll take dumb over evil, inept, and greedy any day. In fact, our hats are off to all of these, the absolutely dumbest of the dumb that the gods of fate and humor delivered into our laps—and yours—this past year. Thanks to each and every one of them!

1. That’s the good news. The bad news is that 2008 is the Year of the Rat. During 2007, the Year of the Pig, Mattel is forced to recall almost 20 million items made in China because of lead paint on toy cars and tiny magnets that could be deadly if swallowed. Lead paint problems are also found in 844,000 Chinese-made Barbie accessories and toys with the Sesame Street brand. Pet food makers recall more than 60 million cans of food laced with tainted melamine in wheat gluten from China. A huge underground distribution network for steroids, human growth hormones, and other bodybuilding drugs is traced to 37 companies in China. Chinese-made lunch boxes, given away by the California Department of Public Health to promote healthy eating habits among children, are found to contain lead. Nike recalls 235,000 football helmets because the Chinese-made chin cup has a defective strap and has caused at least two concussions and a broken nose. Ethylene glycol is found in Chinese-made toothpaste. The government of China executes the former head of its State Food and Drug Administration.

2. Thank God. We’ve been so worried since Lucky dyed his hair jet black and started listening to the Smiths. Eli Lilly wins FDA approval to put Prozac into chewable, beef-flavored pills to treat separation anxiety in dogs.

3. If she were your master, you’d need a lifetime supply of Prozac too. Upon her death, Leona Helmsley leaves $12 million to her white Maltese, Trouble.

4. Mission accomplished! In the first quarter of 2007, thanks to its $1.3 billion purchase of First Franklin Financial, Merrill Lynch becomes the world’s top underwriter of subprime mortgage-backed securities. Nonetheless, with the market in meltdown just a few months later, Merrill CFO Jeffrey Edwards tells analysts that the firm’s subprime exposure is “limited, contained, and appropriately marked.” In October, Merrill announces a quarterly loss of $2.24 billion after $7.9 billion in subprimerelated write-downs.

5. Payback is a bitch. In August and September, as his company is racking up the largest quarterly loss in its 93-year history, Merrill Lynch CEO Stanley O’Neal squeezes in 20 rounds of golf, including three rounds on three different courses in a single day. In October, O’Neal announces his “retirement,” walking away with a compensation package valued at $161.5 million.

6. Not so flush. Citigroup CEO Chuck Prince resigns after the company takes an $11 billion write-down.

7. Too bad nobody gave one of these to Chuck Prince. Japanese manufacturer Toto apologizes to customers and offers free repairs for 180,000 high-tech toilets— thrones that feature heated seats, air purifiers, blow dryers, and water sprayers—after at least three catch fire. “Fortunately nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out,” says a company spokesman. “The fire would have been just under your buttocks.”

8. Ooh, gross! A video clip showing hordes of rats in a closed-for-the-night KFC/Taco Bell outlet in New York City gets nearly a million hits on YouTube.

9. Ooh-la-la, gross! The French daily Le Monde calls Ratatouille, Pixar’s movie about a rat in a kitchen, “one of the greatest gastronomic films in the history of cinema.”

10. Election officials in Florida promptly order 5,000 units. Diebold tightens security after it is revealed that a simple virus can hack its electronic voting machines. Months later a hacker uses a picture of a key from the company website to make a real key that can open the company’s machines.

11. A touch of understatement. “I touched the delta tower.”— Captain John J. Cota, the pilot of the container ship Cosco Busan, after the vessel strikes the San Francisco–Oakland Bay Bridge and spills 58,000 gallons of diesel fuel from a 160-foot gash in its hull.

12. Deep doo-doo. The parents of two Florida toddlers sue Procter & Gamble after they are surprised to find images of their children on packages of Luvs diapers. The parents say they were paid a “nominal fee” at a casting call but were promised an additional payment if the photos were selected.

13. It’s a fat world, after all. Disneyland announces plans to close the “It’s a Small World” attraction to deepen its water channel after the ride’s boats start getting stuck under loads of heavy passengers. Employees ask larger passengers to disembark—and compensate them with coupons for free food.

14. Getting buff. The Fitworld gym in Heteren, the Netherlands, introduces Naked Sunday.

15. But officer, it was the Toy of the Year! Australia’s Toy of the Year, a bead toy called Bindeez made by Moose Enterprise, is pulled from stores after scientists discover that the beads contain a chemical that converts into the date-rape drug GHB when ingested.

16. And the Patricia Dunn Pretexting Award goes to … While working on an article about Microsoft, Wired contributing editor (and former FORTUNE writer) Fred Vogelstein receives a 13-page dossier about himself, describing him as “tricky” and his stories as “sensational.” The document, prepared by the company’s public relations firm, Waggener Edstrom Worldwide, as background for Microsoft executives, was sent inadvertently to the writer.

17. Quite a blow. After receiving a warning from the FDA, Redux Beverages agrees to stop calling its energy drink Cocaine. It changes the name first to Censored, then to No Name.

18. There will always be an England. A contributor to the website of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds complains that he is being censored when a filter in the site’s Microsoft software automatically replaces the word“cock”—the common designation for a male bird—with asterisks. “As bird lovers will know,” he writes, “a Parus major is a great tit, and while a **** doesn’t get past the forum censors, tits do not cause offense.”

19. What Lindsay Lohan will be driving in ’08. New Jersey Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone dismisses drunk-driving charges against a Zamboni operator even though he tests positive for alcohol. The judge rules that the ice-grooming machines aren’t motor vehicles because they are not street legal.

20. Oh, that explains it. “The police, since my trouble, have not worked out for me.”— O.J. Simpson, on why he took matters into his own hands to reclaim memorabilia he says were pilfered. He is charged with kidnapping and armed robbery.

21. Right back atcha … To build buzz for its animated show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Turner Broadcasting’s Cartoon Network places electronic lightboards throughout Boston, triggering a bomb scare that shuts down two bridges, an expressway, a subway station, and a stretch of the Charles River. The devices depict a character from the show saluting passersby with an upraised middle finger.

22. That no-good Uncle Bertie is finally doing something useful. Co-op Funeralcare, a funeral home in Dunfermline, Scotland, says it is investigating reports that employees routinely used the cremains of the departed to keep passersby from slipping on icy sidewalks. “There’s every chance people living nearby will have walked through the remains,” an ex-employee says. “Some of them probably even inhaled them.”

Match Game, 40,000 B.C. Connect the Neanderthal with his shockingly unevolved deed:

Deed	Neanderthal
23. Refers to members of the Rutgers University women’s basketball team as “nappyheaded hos.”	A. HBO president Chris Albrecht
24. Allegedly punches and chokes his girlfriend while drunk at 3 a.m. in a Las Vegas parking lot.	B. NY Knicks general manager Isiah Thomas
25. Rains dollar bills down on dancers at a Las Vegas strip club, setting off a melee in which three people are shot.	C. Record producer Phil Spector
26. Is found in a sexual harassment lawsuit to have subjected an employee to unwanted advances and verbal abuse.	D. Tenessee Titans cornerback Adam Jones
27. Unveils a mind-blowing array of outdated hairstyles, each do creepier than the next	E. Shock jock Don Imus

Answers: a , 24; b , 26; c , 27; d , 25; e , 23

28. I mean, since there wasn’t any bloody ice on my bloody sidewalk … In an interview with a British rock magazine, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards admits to snorting his father’s ashes: “He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow.” A day later Richards denies the incident, explaining, “I was trying to say how tight Bert and I were—that tight!”

29. Faux de Cologne. Sonntags Zeitung, a Swiss newspaper, publishes a two-page ad for Gucci Eau de Parfum that turns out to be a hoax by a prankster who took a picture of himself posing naked next to a bottle of the high-end scent.

30. Remarkably, he has yet to be weeded out. In July, as Bear Stearns executives futilely attempt to prop up two hedge funds that ultimately collapse amid the subprime meltdown, CEO James Cayne spends ten of 21 workdays out of the office, playing golf and competing in a bridge tournament in Tennessee. According to the Wall Street Journal, his fellow bridge enthusiasts claim that Cayne sometimes smokes marijuana at the end of tournament sessions.

31. We’ll say this for Mr. Cayne: He clearly shares his primo stuff with the research department. In March, shortly after No. 2 U.S. subprime lender New Century Financial announces a major earnings restatement as a result of failing loans, Bear Stearns analysts Scott Coren and Michael Nannizzi write a research note on New Century. They argue that despite New Century’s stock having plunged 50%, to $15 per share, its downside risk is no worse than $10 in a “rescue-sale scenario.” Within a month, New Century drops below $1 a share, is suspended by the NYSE, and files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

32. Gimme some skin, dawg. Rapper Jay-Z, founder of the Rocawear clothing line, is taken to task by the Humane Society after it finds that the “faux fur” in jackets sold by his company is actually dog fur.

33. And we just thought our wives were really into oral hygiene. Lawyers representing Procter & Gamble send a 66-page cease-and desist letter to British sex-toy company Love Honey, demanding that it stop using images of its Oral B electric toothbrushes to promote a product called the Brush Bunny—a rabbitshaped piece of plastic that slips over the top of an Oral B to turn it into a vibrator.

34. G-strings and sweaty bald men sold separately. Summit Products of Trussville, Ala., introduces the YOUniverse Funk Fone, a working telephone for little girls that bears a striking resemblance to the footwear worn by dancers at Scores.

35. Who knew “M&Ms” stood for Meatloaf & Mutton? Masterfoods, the maker of Mars, Snickers, and other candies, abandons plans to begin using animal products in its chocolates.

36. Let the Best Buyer beware. The state of Connecticut sues Best Buy for setting up in-store kiosks set to a website that looks identical to bestbuy.com but lists higher prices than those they would actually find online.

37. … thus making our satisfaction complete. District of Columbia judge Roy Pearson loses a $54 million lawsuit against the owners of a dry-cleaning establishment that he claims misplaced a pair of his pants. Pearson argued that the cleaner committed fraud by failing to live up to the satisfaction guaranteed sign displayed in the shop. Four months later a judicial review committee votes against reappointing him to his post, finding that he failed to demonstrate “appropriate judgment and judicial temperament.”

38. Are you a moron? Click here now! To test Google’s ability to block harmful advertising, Belgian IT security consultant Didier Stevens posts an ad that reads “Is your PC virus-free? Get it infected here!” It is accepted by Google and displayed 259,723 times; 409 web surfers actually click on the ad.

39. Oh, for the love of … wait, you already said it yourself. British artist Damien Hirst, famous for such works as a tiger shark preserved in a tank of formaldehyde, creates the most expensive piece of contemporary art in history: a platinum human skull covered with 8,601 diamonds. Called “For the Love of God,” the piece is reportedly sold to an unnamed investment group for $100 million.

40. Oh, Manny, you’re soooooo handy. Young Comcast customers in New Jersey are surprised when a scheduled showing of Disney Channel’s Handy Manny— featuring bilingual handyman Manny Garcia and his talking tools—is replaced by hard-core pornography. A parent says she will cancel her Comcast subscription just as soon as the NHL playoffs are over.

41. What could be worse than porn for impressionable young minds, you ask? At a National Amusements multiplex in Holtsville, N.Y., an audience set to watch family film The Last Mimzy is instead treated to the opening scene from The Hills Have Eyes 2, in which a chained woman gives birth to a cannibalistic mutant.

42. They had such high hopes. Predicting a blockbuster, Pfizer introduces the diabetes drug Exubera, a form of insulin inhaled through a tubular device. It’s quickly dismissed as a “medicinal bong” by a prominent diabetic blogger, while the president of the American Diabetes Association, citing lung-function risks, says, “I see it as my job to talk people out of it.” Pfizer quickly gives up on the product, taking a $2.8 billion write-off.

43. Child abuse: It’s fan-tastic! The Toronto Blue Jays trumpet the arrival of designated hitter Frank Thomas with a TV commercial in which the 6-foot-5, 275-pound slugger—nicknamed “The Big Hurt”—is seen pillow-fighting with a small boy. He swings so hard he sends the child flying from the bed. Though the boy pops up unhurt, the ad is banned by the Television Bureau of Canada.

44. Another subprime stunt. A Bank of America branch in Ashland, Mass., is evacuated after it receives a fax with the image of a lit match being held to a bomb’s fuse. The fax, sent by the company to alert employees to an upcoming promotion, somehow comes through without its text, which should read “The Countdown Begins … Small Business Commitment Week June 4–8.”

45. We seriously mistrusted those sprinkles. Just one week after unveiling the world’s most expensive dessert—the $25,000 Frrozen Haute Chocolate, 28 cocoas infused with edible 23-karat gold served in a goblet with a diamond bracelet at its base— New York restaurant Serendipity 3 is shut down for failing its second health inspection in a month. Inspectors find a live mouse, multiple piles of mouse droppings, fruit flies, houseflies, and more than 100 live cockroaches.

46. And if those guys in Rome don’t stop using our logo, we’ll nail them too. Johnson & Johnson sues the American Red Cross for infringement of its trademarked red cross.

47. He’s also honest, humble, and nuttier than an organic fruitcake. “I like Mackey’s haircut. I think he looks cute.”— Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, posting under the screen name Rahodeb, on a Yahoo Finance stock forum. The Federal Trade Commission reveals that Mackey authored this and numerous other posts over an eight-year period, hyping his company and himself while trashing the competitor he hoped to acquire, Wild Oats.

48. They don’t call it the European Union for nothing. To highlight its role as a patron of the arts, the EU posts a mashup on YouTube featuring two dozen sex scenes from movies it has funded, followed by the line, “Let’s come together.”

49. The red-light district in Amsterdam immediately closed. A worker in a German screw factory smuggles out 2,000 to 7,000 screws per night, ultimately stealing more than a million units. He sells the screws below cost on the Internet, artificially depressing the entire screw market.

50. Makes you wonder what it would cost to ship a million German screws. Exploiting a flaw in a Defense Department purchasing system, South Carolina parts supplier C&D Distributors rakes in $20.5 million in shipping fees on just $68,000 in sales. The scheme is finally detected when a Pentagon clerk spots a $969,000 bill for shipping two 19-cent washers to an Army base in Texas.

For the complete list of the 101 Dumbest moments in Business, go to CNNMoney.com.

For the original article, please go here.

Loud things in your ears will make you deaf. I can personally thanking headphones and heavy-metal music in the ’70′s and ’80′s for doing to my ears what computer screens, small type, and Diabetes have done for my eyes.

However, there seems to always be some group or another that seeks to save us from ourselves by shouting out the painfully obvious, as this story from Monsters and Critics tells us…

MP3 lovers risking deafness warns charity organisation

By Stevie Smith Sep 12, 2007, 13:53 GMT

The risks associated with hear loss and personal headphone use are nothing out of the ordinary and have been an issue of concern since way back in the 1980s and the arrival of the Walkman. However, a UK-based charity is now warning that more than 66 percent of young MP3 users are running the gauntlet of premature deafness.

Specifically, the Royal National Institute for Deaf People (RNID) has revealed that its survey threw up worrying figures related to headphone sound levels and hearing loss. The charity has subsequently criticised hardware makers for not placing usage warnings on their products while also advising digital MP3 player consumers to fit in-ear background noise filters to their headphones in order to reduce the need for extra volume and better protect their hearing in the long run.

The survey, spread across MP3 player users located in Birmingham, Brighton, and Manchester, returned that 72 of the 110 people tested were found to be playing their portable music at volumes surpassing 85 decibels. The BBC news Web site equates that to “a loud alarm clock at close proximity,” while the World Health Organisation claims that prolonged headphone use at 85 decibels is certainly capable of causing hearing damage.

In that regard, the RNID survey discovered that close to 50 percent of respondents are immersed in portable music for over an hour a day, while around 25 percent say their headphones are clamped on their ears for more than 21 hours every week. With the RNID pointing accusatory fingers at player manufacturers over the lack of consumer warnings, the survey unveiled that 58 percent of users were ignorant to any headphone-related risk, and 79 percent claim to never have seen package warnings outlining the potential risks.

“MP3 manufacturers have a responsibility to make their customers aware of the dangers by printing clear warnings on packaging and linking volume controls to decibel levels,” said Brian Lamb, the RNID’s acting chief executive. “It’s easy to crank up the sound levels on your MP3 player to damagingly loud levels, especially on busy streets or public transport… But if people can hear the music from your headphones from just a metre away, you\’re putting your hearing at risk.”

The RNID has also said that this latest survey offers similar results to one it ran in 2006. Following its initial foray into the risks of MP3 headphone use, the charity contacted 55 MP3 player manufacturers with a request to include music level warnings on the packaging of their products. To date they have received only two replies.

The risks associated with hear loss and personal headphone use are nothing out of the ordinary and have been an issue of concern since way back in the 1980s and the arrival of the Walkman. However, a UK-based charity is now warning that more than 66 percent of young MP3 users are running the gauntlet of premature deafness.

Specifically, the Royal National Institute for Deaf People (RNID) has revealed that its survey threw up worrying figures related to headphone sound levels and hearing loss. The charity has subsequently criticised hardware makers for not placing usage warnings on their products while also advising digital MP3 player consumers to fit in-ear background noise filters to their headphones in order to reduce the need for extra volume and better protect their hearing in the long run.

The survey, spread across MP3 player users located in Birmingham, Brighton, and Manchester, returned that 72 of the 110 people tested were found to be playing their portable music at volumes surpassing 85 decibels. The BBC news Web site equates that to “a loud alarm clock at close proximity,” while the World Health Organisation claims that prolonged headphone use at 85 decibels is certainly capable of causing hearing damage.

In that regard, the RNID survey discovered that close to 50 percent of respondents are immersed in portable music for over an hour a day, while around 25 percent say their headphones are clamped on their ears for more than 21 hours every week. With the RNID pointing accusatory fingers at player manufacturers over the lack of consumer warnings, the survey unveiled that 58 percent of users were ignorant to any headphone-related risk, and 79 percent claim to never have seen package warnings outlining the potential risks.

“MP3 manufacturers have a responsibility to make their customers aware of the dangers by printing clear warnings on packaging and linking volume controls to decibel levels,” said Brian Lamb, the RNID’s acting chief executive. “It’s easy to crank up the sound levels on your MP3 player to damagingly loud levels, especially on busy streets or public transport… But if people can hear the music from your headphones from just a metre away, you’re putting your hearing at risk.”

The RNID has also said that this latest survey offers similar results to one it ran in 2006. Following its initial foray into the risks of MP3 headphone use, the charity contacted 55 MP3 player manufacturers with a request to include music level warnings on the packaging of their products. To date they have received only two replies. (They probably can’t hear you…).

I believe that with greater freedom comes greater responsibility… to be more accurate, more ethical, more correct, as we are setting a path for those that follow and if we leave a flawed path…

As far as this Professor is concerned, I don’t know whether his firing is politically motivated or not, although I tend to think so. However, the investigation into his unsubstantiated claims, such as:

‘Capt. John Smith intentionally introduced smallpox to the Wampanoag Indians’,

as well as other fabricated statements, give enough weight for his termination. You or I would be fired for much less.

This story by Dan Frosch and published in The New York Times gives the details (and I give the barbs, as always, in Italics…)

Colorado Regents Vote to Fire a Controversial Professor

By DAN FROSCH

Published: July 25, 2007

BOULDER, Colo., July 24 — After more than two years of public tumult, the University of Colorado Board of Regents voted Tuesday to fire a professor whose remarks about the victims of the Sept. 11 attacks led to a national debate on free speech. But it was the professor’s problems with scholarship that the board cited as the cause for his termination.

The professor, Ward L. Churchill, was dismissed on the ground that he had committed academic misconduct by plagiarizing and falsifying parts of his scholarly research.

The board voted 8 to 1 to dismiss Professor Churchill.

“We wanted to do what was right for this university,” the board chairwoman, Patricia Hayes, said after the vote. “We did not address Professor Churchill’s freedom of speech as part of our discussion.”

The university president, Hank Brown, who recommended that the board fire Professor Churchill, said he deserved to lose his job because he had “falsified history” and “fabricated history.”

At a news conference after the decision, Professor Churchill, who cut a dramatic figure with his mane of gray-black hair, towering frame and dark sunglasses, criticized the process by which he was fired. (Criticizes the process? What, that they checked their facts first?)

“I am going nowhere,” Professor Churchill said. (That’s for sure…) “If there is a question in anyone’s mind to the political nature of the Regents, this should resolve it.”

He continued, “All this did was confirm what it was in the first place about the nature of the academic process and lack of integrity within this institution as a whole.” (Hmmm… A liar shaking his ifnger at us and lecturing us on integrity? Sound overly-familiar, anyone?)
Professor Churchill, a tenured faculty member at Colorado since 1991 who became chairman of the department of ethnic studies, caused an uproar when he criticized United States foreign policy in a 2001 essay written shortly after the Sept. 11 attacks, characterizing some of the office workers killed in the World Trade Center as “little Eichmanns,” (I still ask myself, WTF was he thinking? Obviously, he didn’t know Eichmann very well) a reference to the Nazi Adolf Eichmann, who helped carry out the Holocaust.

Police officers guarded the entrance to the University Memorial Center, where the board met, and people filtered in through metal detectors. A university spokesman, Ken McConnellogue, said the board had received an anonymous death threat via e-mail this month.

Outside the center, more than 50 people, flanked by journalists, rallied in support of Professor Churchill. Among them was a former leader of the American Indian Movement, Russell Means, who said that he understood “the dangers of totalitarianism” and that he had rushed to Boulder to support his old friend.

University officials said it was Professor Churchill’s academic impropriety, nothing more, that was at stake. After the initial fallout over his essay, which came to light in 2005, the university determined that Professor Churchill’s statements indeed constituted free speech. But accusations that he had plagiarized other scholars and fabricated parts of his research began to emerge.

It was on this basis, not Professor Churchill’s criticism of American foreign policy, Mr. McConnellogue said, that the university began a faculty investigation into his work.

In May 2006, a faculty committee found that Professor Churchill’s research, which focused on persecution of American Indians, was seriously flawed. Among suspected inaccuracies and fabrications confirmed by the panel, it charged that Professor Churchill had misrepresented sources to support his argument that Capt. John Smith intentionally introduced smallpox to the Wampanoag Indians in the 17th century.

Colorado’s interim chancellor at the time, Phil DiStefano, subsequently recommended that Professor Churchill be fired, and he was placed on paid administrative leave.

In June 2006, Professor Churchill filed an appeal with the university’s Privilege and Tenure Committee, three of whose members recommended that he be suspended without pay for a year and demoted to assistant professor, while two others thought he should be fired. Soon after, Mr. Brown, the president, recommended that the board dismiss Professor Churchill.

Throughout the controversy, Professor Churchill and his lawyer, David Lane, maintained that the professor’s comments about Sept. 11 were the true driving force behind the investigation and that his fate had been sealed since.

Mr. Lane said he would file a lawsuit on Wednesday in State District Court in Denver, saying the university had violated Professor Churchill’s First Amendment rights by using his political views to fire him.

… and can someone explain to me exactly what in the hell a ‘Privilege and Tenure Committee’ does, or how I can apply for that job? Since when does ‘Privilege’ need a spokesperson? Who’s speaking up for his students who were taught flawed and inaccurate history? Do they have to take that Semester again?

I believe in supporting the local ‘Mom & Pop’ coffee shops. The coffee is just as good (if not better), I get a better price, and most importantly, my hard-earned $3.75 stays in my community, supporting the people I live with, work with, and pay taxes with.

Now, I’m not saying that Starbucks makes bad coffee. Au Contraire. However, I believe that when an organization gets too big, any organization, it looses touch with the local people in the community, no matter how well-intentioned they want to be.

That being said, be prepared to pay more for that Iced Venti Caramel Macchiato, as this story from Reuters explains…

By Nichola Groom

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Starbucks Corp will raise U.S. prices on coffee, lattes and other drinks by an average of 9 cents a cup next week to help offset soaring costs for milk and other commodities, a spokesman said on Monday.

The widely anticipated move marks Starbucks’ second price increase in less than a year and comes a month after the coffee shop chain’s chief financial officer warned it would be “very challenging” for Starbucks to meet the high end of its 2007 earnings forecast, in part because of rising dairy prices.

U.S. milk prices have soared recently amid strong global demand for dairy products and higher production costs.

“We’re always looking at the business costs, and given the rising cost environment in which we operate, we think this is an appropriate time,” spokesman Brandon Borrman said.

The increase will vary by drink and by market, but will average out to about 9 cents a cup, Borrman said. Starbucks’ last price rise of about 5 cents per drink went into effect in October.

Analysts said the increase would be welcomed by investors (the people who are just after your money), who have seen Starbucks’ shares fall more than 20 percent this year on concerns about higher costs, slowing U.S. sales growth and increased competition from fast-food rivals.

“I can’t imagine that it comes as a surprise to anyone, but it should definitely be a positive on both sales and earnings going forward,” said Dan Geiman of McAdams Wright Ragen, who has a “buy” rating on Starbucks shares.

And as with past Starbucks price increases, analysts also said consumers were unlikely to balk at paying a few cents more for their daily caffeine fix.

“There will probably be some grumblings initially, but at the end of the day I think people aren’t going to change their pattern of buying,” said Morningstar Inc restaurant analyst John Owens (in other words, they know you’re hooked on being trendy and buying only their coffee. After all, the gas company has you by the same short hairs and no one seems to be complaining about it…).

The latest increase affects drinks made behind the counter and is effective July 31 at Starbucks’ 6,300 company-owned stores in the United States, Borrman said. Licensed stores control their own prices, but are expected to follow the move, he added (because they can and then blame corporate). There are about 3,500 licensed Starbucks stores in the United States.

The prices of bottled drinks, whole bean coffee and food are unaffected.

Starbucks shares rose 47 cents to close at $28.17 on Monday on Nasdaq. The shares after hours were down two cents each at $28.15.

***Comments in italics are mine and mine alone and (probably) not the opinion of the author or reuters news service, who will be raising their prices so that they can still get their morning cup’o joe… You can agree or disagree. If you agree, thanks. If you disagree, thanks also. either way, you’re at least thinking about it and making an informed decision when you get your next cup of swill- er, I mean, Starbucks…

…and please buy local.

Lawyer: Ex-Astronaut Didn’t Wear Diaper

By MIKE SCHNEIDER

The Associated Press
Friday, June 29, 2007; 1:25 PM

ORLANDO, Fla. — Former astronaut Lisa Nowak didn’t wear diapers during her 950-mile road trip to confront a romantic rival, her lawyer said Friday, disputing one of the more bizarre details to emerge from the NASA love triangle.

“The biggest lie in this preposterous tale that has been told is that my client drove from Houston, Texas, to Orlando, Florida, nonstop, wearing a diaper,” Donald Lykkebak said after filing motions to suppress evidence in Nowak’s criminal case. “That is an absolute fabrication.”

The tidbit that Nowak wore diapers during her trip was written in the police report filed after Nowak’s arrest in February.

“I then asked Mrs. Nowak why she had baby diapers,” according to the charging affidavit written by Officer William “Chris” Becton. “Mrs. Nowak said that she didn’t want to stop and use the restroom, so she used the diapers to collect her urine.”

There were toddler-size diapers in her car when she was arrested, but they were several years old, Lykkebak said. Nowak and her family had used them when Houston was evacuated in 2005 during Hurricane Rita, he said.

The diaper detail became fodder for late-night TV comics and talk radio and even inspired an episode of the NBC show “Law & Order.”

“It jeopardizes our ability to have a fair trial when the accused is the butt of jokes,” Lykkebak said.

Lykkebak didn’t say why he waited until now to dispute the police report.

An Orlando police spokeswoman, Sgt. Barb Jones, said she couldn’t comment about the case specifically. She said a court would determine the accuracy of the facts.

Nowak, 44, was charged with attempted kidnapping, battery and burglary with assault in a confrontation at Orlando International Airport with Colleen Shipman, the girlfriend of former astronaut Bill Oefelein. Oefelein told detectives he had a two-year relationship with Nowak but ended it some time after he started a relationship with Shipman.

Nowak has pleaded not guilty and her trial is set for September. She was dismissed from the astronaut corps a month after her arrest.

Oefelein was dismissed from the corps at the beginning of June.

Lykkebak filed a motion asking a judge to prevent statements that Nowak made to police from being entered into evidence, claiming she had not been properly advised of her constitutional rights.

He also asked that evidence found in her car not be allowed to be introduced in court, saying it was seized without a search warrant. Police officers recovered maps to Shipman’s home, large garbage bags, latex gloves and Shipman’s flight information.

It’s a pretty sad day when your defense rests on whether or not you were wearing diapers while committing your offense…